2020 Vision & Why I failed in 2019

Here we are folks!

It’s the new year! A new decade has started! A new chapter in each of our lives. What does it all mean though?

I’m not one who usually plays into the whole “new year’s resolution” or “this is my word/ theme for the year”. Its always seemed a bit gimmicky to me and I wanted no part of the hype.

The truth is, for me, it doesn’t matter what day it is, what year or decade it is. All that matters is, what are you going to do with the time that you have on this earth? Lately, with everyone on social media posting inspirational and motivational quotes, it’s caused me to really evaluate myself and my life. I’m naturally a person who always writes down my goals, vision, plans and does my best to stick to them. So firstly, with the year coming to an end, I took a look back at the previous goals I had set and went through each one to see where I ended up at the end of 2019. The brief conclusion is this:

In 2019, I bit off way more than I could chew. I had entirely too much on my plate! I started 2019 with a 4 month old baby and 3 small boys, we moved to a new apartment at the end of Dec 2018, I was homeschooling, trying to build my personal brand, helping to expand my family business, and much much more. I also extended myself to help others outside of my family unit when I frankly wasn’t in the ideal position to do so. This lead to broken promises, disappointment and overall feeling burnt out and anxious. I felt like I was letting myself and my loved ones down and even contemplated giving up blogging. (So thankful for my husband who urged me not to give up and is my greatest supporter)

In 2019, I had some situations occur that opened my eyes to who is really there for me and who isn’t. Last year started to feel pretty lonely at times and although I was very happy in my household with my husband and children, I started to feel disconnected from some core people in my life. It was really rough to go through those moments of realizing who is really there for you and who isn’t but the good thing about that is, I ended the year with an amazing group of friends and family who genuinely love and support me and they know that I do as well! Trust me when I say, sifting is a GOOD thing! You keep aaaaallll the good and get rid of aaaaallll the bad!

In 2019, I doubted myself way too much. I am one who is never afraid to dream and envision the best possible life that God has for me. I have goals, plans, and grand ideas of what it will take the become the woman that I believe God wants me to be. Vision, is not my problem. Faith, focus and discipline have been my problem!

I could easily imagine how I wanted my life to be but doubted that I was capable of actually doing the things required to have that life. I was always second guessing. If someone came with an opinion or “advice” that wasn’t in line with who I felt God wanted me to be, I would start to doubt myself. I would lose focus on the very thing that was supposed to be driving me towards a successful life. Sometimes, I’d actually pump myself up and tell myself that I can do this! I can accomplish that task, I can fulfill my calling! And then, I found that I lacked the discipline to fully follow through with that conviction in my heart.

Needless to say, new year or not, I needed to change. And change FAST! First, I had to change my mindset

I knew that as a follower of Christ, the main thing to help me change my way of thinking and sharpen my focus was to meditate on the word of God. So first and foremost, this year, I’ll be focused on making sure that I’m more and more aligned with God’s perfect vision for my life. How, do you ask? By reading the bible, praying, praising, applying what I’ve learned to my life and repeating that pattern day after day.

Once my mindset is moving on the right track, my actions will follow! And this year, as big as my aspirations are, I am learning to take my time. Really go through the movements of life, step by step, and allow God to truly lead me in perfect peace.

I know, it’s not some extensive master plan that I have to share but it really is all that I need at this moment in time. I need focus, I need peace, I need direction and all those things come from God❤… side note: the planner/ notebook lover in me still has a little something written down in bullet form lol. But I’m really going to scale back on the speed at which I was trying to accomplish things in 2019 and in doing so, I firmly believe it will propel me even further for 2020!

I started this blog to lend my experience as a stay at home wife and mom to my readers. So that if there were women out there who desire to leave the corporate life behind and make their homes and families their full time priority, they would feel encouraged by my experiences as I learn along the way. I hoped in some small way, I could help quiet the voices of the masses that look down on families who choose to do things the “traditional”way in order to help build confidence in newer moms.  I truly believe that my blog has been a positive, and real representation of my life and I’ll continue to share my experiences.

If you find you’ve been struggling with some of the same things that I have, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s encourage each other! Let’s pray for one another! Let’s remember to prioritize and take our times. As women, the helpmeet, we’re sometimes confused into thinking that means that we need to be able to do ALL. THE. THINGS on our own. But not so, it’s not by our own strength but through Christ’s strength, we can do all things!

So to my sister’s out there! Let’s kill it this year girl! Let’s sharpen our focus and walk in confidence towards our destinies. You got this girl

Hugs and Love ❤

Lilly